Ode to 37 Weeks

I couldn't sleep last night so between the hours of about 2 & 4:30 for some reason I was compelled to write this poem. I have no idea where it came from... but it kept me up.


My back is sore
My belly aches
My muscles stretched & beat
My cervix stings, the pressure's on
I cannot see my feet

My arms are fat
My legs are huge
My arm pits aren't the same
The speed at which I move around is really quite a shame

It feels like something's in my pelvis stretching me apart
Like walking with a ball stuck in between my private parts

Ive got swollen hands & swollen feet
That jiggle when I walk
My boobs have grown four times their size
My nipples too, a lot

I get up ever hour cuz I always have to pee
I snore so loud my husband he won't even sleep with me

Carpal tunnel plagues my wrists
And is even in my hands
Every time I sneeze or cough I risk peeing my pants

My stretchy clothes just barely fit
My underwear are tight
Sitting up ain't comfortable nor lying down at night

My Braxton hicks contractions getting stronger by the minute
Acid reflux is a battle even Maalox cannot win it

The water retention in my legs makes them hard to bend
I have rolls all down my back & sides
I want this all to end

Hormones hormones hormones that are rushing through my system
The emotion & the crying & the meltdowns that go with them

My skin is stretched & itches & my belly button's awful
My body is so big now I don't even walk, I waddle

Im lazy and im tired and I sleep an awful lot
Who ever made this 40 weeks should definitely be shot